not always what you think.

I am a planner, everyone knows that but sometimes things happen in your life and morph into something you never thought possible.  So what do you do?  Do you overlook the change and keep looking for what you thought would be there or do you adapt?  Darwinism would say that one must adapt in order to survive and I believe that's true.  John Lennon once said, "Map your life out, but use a pencil."

Sometimes a good decision at the time can in turn into something messy, but then on the same token a bad situation can morph into something that becomes incredible.  When I left Tennessee in search of something I was missing: independence, change, employment, and self determination I never thought that it would look the way it did.  My imagination got the best of me, I loved the idea so much that I overlooked all the other parts to my puzzle.  Many of us do the same thing with other scenarios and relationships. The whole thing was disastrous at first and I regretted everything about what I had left behind.  However, once I realized that I had to embrace all the change and stop looking for what I thought I would see, everything became clear.  Hindsight is always 20/20.

I can have it all, it just may not look the way I thought it would.  Once those rose colored glasses are off, everything is so transparent.  The perfect job, the perfect relationship, the perfect apartment, the perfect life. 

Do I have the perfect job? No, but it's perfect for this part of my life story and this particular chapter.  Am I in a perfect relationship?  No, but she's a pit bull terrier and lights up when I walk in the door.  Is my apartment perfect? No, but it's perfectly safe and in a nice location.  As for the last one, of course my life is not perfect but it's imperfect and that is perfection itself.

So, when you start seeing things for what they are and not what you thought they'd be the appreciation value goes up.  This applies with relationships too because when you are expecting a person to fit a certain mold and they don't it is all too easy to see the corners that don't match up instead of embracing the very thing that sets them apart.  It's like the first time your best friend dissappoints you, you can either toss them out when the rain comes or accept that flaw and love them anyway.  Snow Patrol said it best in You're All I Have on the Chasing Cars album, 

You're cinematic, razor sharp
A welcome arrow through the heart
Under your skin feels like home
Electric shocks on aching bones

That's it, imperfect becoming perfection in it's own way.  Once we wake our minds, eyes, and hearts to the truth and not what we thought the truth would be, it's all clear.

"Love the life you live, live the life you love." -Bob Marley